The Marriage Relationship

I heard it once said, “marriage is friendship on fire.”  It truly is

From the book the Alchemist is is written, “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you”.

To me the marriage relationship represents the pureness, the sweetness, the determined, the resilient, the trusting, the celebration and the perfection of love.  Love will always find its way to cry, laugh, forgive, and celebrate that life is meant to find those that make our soul sing.

As I considered what to say today the words celebration, courage, healing, family and second chance at love kept coming to me.

Your relationship, your Marriage and your life together is a celebration of each others uniqueness, beauty, and passion.  It is a celebration that life and existence is.

It has been said, “A man or woman who opens their heart to love you, when their heart has been already broken by loss and death, is braver than any person you will ever meet”.

Today is a celebration of the purity and eternal nature of love.  To me love transcends all space and time.  Love is a bridge that links hearts and heals souls between all dimensions of existence.

Today we also celebrate the love of those you have loved in this life and have moved from this reality to the next.  You now link your hearts with theirs.

There is something uniquely divine about two people choosing to share their lives with one another.  It has been said that the future is guaranteed to no one… so daily and even moment to moment celebrate that life and each other are precious gifts.

The reason we are here today is because of love.

But What is love?

We use the word love to describe so many different relationships.  There is brotherly love, there is sisterly love, there is motherly and fatherly love, there is friendship type of love, there is the love we have for our children, there is romantic love, there is I love my dogs “Louie and Remy” kind of love, there is the “forgive them for they know not what they do” type of of love, and the “of you that is without sin cast the first stone” type of love.

Love exists without condition, without expectation and it celebrates that existence is.

The poet Helen Steiner Rice wrote:

“Love is like magic and it always will be.

For love still remains life’s sweet mystery.

Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange

And there is nothing in life that love cannot change.

Love can transform the most commonplace

Into beauty and splendor and sweetness and grace.

Love is unselfish, understanding and kind,

For it sees with its heart and not with its mind.

Love is the answer that everyone seeks…

Love is the language that every heart speaks.

Love can’t be bought; it is priceless and free,

Love, like pure magic is life’s sweet mystery.”


When you use the following words frequently in your marriage; you will be richly blessed:

Thank You,

I am sorry,

Please forgive me,

I love you.

Remember, “perspective is in the eye of the beholder”, Therefore, when you can see a situation or event through the eyes of another you will have true empathy.

It has been said that, “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace”.  So in your relationship, Be and speak peacefully.

William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

As you live life without expectations, everything that you receive in your life becomes a gift.

Marriage is the one relationship in life that you learn the most about yourself.

Recognize your personal accountability in all arguments, misunderstandings, and problems.

Look very closely and identify your accountability.  This is the beginning of forgiveness and peace.

Accountability creates honesty and trust in any relationship but most of all in a marriage relationship.

The key to accountability is humility.

Humility is a quality of character that is sometimes misunderstood.  People often equate humility with meekness, weakness, or passive behavior.

To the contrary, humility is a quality of strength and is a high level maturity.

Humility is the habit of living in the truth.

“The humble man or woman sees themselves as they really are.  They acknowledge their weaknesses and shortcomings, but also their strengths and abilities.”

Marriage is a relationship in which our ability to live in humility is often tested.   Marriage will reveal your level of maturity more than any other relationship.

The intensity of the marriage relationship, with intimacy and familiarity unlike any other relationship often brings out the best and the worst in us.

It is the perfect place to practice habits of humility.

Admitting when we are wrong, showing grace to our partner, and practicing gentleness, respect, and patience are essential to a happy marriage.

Be the first to apologize.  Come from a space of kindness, humility and love even if the other is not ready to apologize yet.

Nothing extinguishes the fire of an argument quicker than the words… I am sorry.

When your actions are motivated by love, the least effort is expended.  However, when you seek power and control over another, you waste energy and the flow of love is impeded.

~From the ancient Sanskrit it is written…

“Look to this day.

For it is life,

The very life of life…

For yesterday is only a dream,

And tomorrow is only a vision

But today, well lived,

Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.”

Service is the purest form of love… so serve one another.

Be grateful everyday for the gift of each other.

When you show each other gratitude, humility, kindness and love, your love for each other will grow forever.


The Wedding ring is the most famous and instantly recognizable symbol of joining of a man and a woman as husband and wife in the relationship of marriage, it has a long, wide spread and mysterious history.

Its beginnings lie in the deserts of North Africa, where the ancient Egyptian civilization sprang up along the fertile flood plains of the river Nile.

This river was bringer of all fortune and life to the Pharaoh’s people and from plants growing on its’ riverbanks were the first wedding rings fashioned.

The ring is of course a circle and this was the symbol of eternity for the Egyptians as well as many other ancient cultures.  It had no beginning and no end, like time.

It returned to itself, like life. The shape was worshipped in the form of the Sun and the Moon.

The hole in the center of the ring is not just space; it is important in its own right as the symbol of the gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown, seen and unseen.

In closing, I would like to share something that was written 600 years before the time of Christ by an ancient Chinese philosopher by the name of Lao Tzu called “Always Return”.

“It is good to know your strength

But always return to your flexibility

If you cradle your beloved in your arms

In nurturing gentleness,

Love will flow through you.

It is good to achieve things

But always return to anonymity.

Your beloved does not need your achievements

But needs your uncomplicated soul.

It is good to work for change,

But always return to what is.

If you accept all things whether painful or joyful

You will always know

That you belong to each other


For me this day and your relationship can be summarized by the following quote:

 “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.  It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”  


I am honored and blessed to share this special day with you.  You are the very reason I love doing weddings.  Love for me is like magic.  Love heals all wounds, it speaks to me of eternity, it gives me strength to stand in my power and it is the one place that I am truly grateful to be me…

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